Who Says Nuns Don’t Curse?

Nun talkingA nun walked into the Mother Superior’s office and plopped down into a chair. She let out a sigh, heavy with frustration.

“What troubles you, Sister Theadore Linda?” asked the Mother Superior. “I thought this was the day you spent with your family.”

“It was,” sighed the Sister. “And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite the golfer before I devoted my life to the Lord.”

“I seem to recall that,” the Mother Superior agreed. “So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?”

“Far from it,” snorted the Sister. “In fact, I even took the Lord’s name in vain!”

“Goodness Sister!” gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. “Tell me all about it!”

“Well, we were on the 5th tee. This hole is a monster, Mother – a 540-yard dogleg right Par 5 with a nasty hidden green, and I hit the drive of my life. I mean, I really creamed it. Sweetest swing I’ve ever made. It’s flying straight and true, right on the line I wanted, and hits a bird in mid-flight!”

“Oh my!” commiserated the Mother. “How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister!”

“No, that wasn’t it,” admitted the Sister. “While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, a squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball, and runs off down the fairway!”

“Oh, that would have made me blaspheme,” sympathized the Mother.Nun golfing

“But I didn’t, Mother,” sobbed the Sister. “I was so proud of myself. But while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, a hawk swoops down out of the sky, picks up the squirrel in its talons, and flies off – my ball still clutched in its paws!”

“So, that’s when you cursed,” said the Mother with a knowing smile.

“Nope, that wasn’t it either,” cried the Sister, anguished. “Because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel was struggling, and the hawk dropped it right there on the green. The ball popped out of its paws and rolled to within 18″ of the cup.”

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her bosoms, fixed the sister with a baleful stare, and said, “You missed the fu**ing putt, didn’t you?”

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