A couple of years ago, when I really decided to pursue a career in golf, my wife, Zoe asked me if I would be willing to give her golf lessons. I politely declined.
Still, from time to time, she’ll try to catch me in a weak moment and ask me for a tip or two. Let’s get one thing straight: it’s not that I don’t want to teach my wife how to play golf, it’s that I want us to stay married.
No better is this point illustrated than in Harvey Penick’s Little Red Book. I’m reading it again for the 6th or 7th time and just happened to be next to my wife when I read the following anecdote. When I asked her to read it, she burst out laughing. “You should post this on your blog, babe,” she said. Okay, babe. I will.
A Story by Helen
“When we got married sixty years ago, Harvey already had a big reputation in golf. He became head pro at Austin Country Club at 18 and golf coach at Texas at 26. So I was always known as Mrs. Harvey Penick. Only our friends knew me as Helen.
People would say, ‘She’s Mrs. Harvey Penick. She’s bound to know how to play golf.’ I loved the game, but I was an 18-handicapper. I finally started using my maiden name – Helen Holmes – when I would enter a tournament.
The last time I played with Harvey was in a Scotch Foursome at the old Austin Country Club on Riverside Drive. We were matched again Martha and Peck Westmoreland from Lockhart.
Before we teed off, Harvey told me, ‘Helen, Peck is hitting the ball so bad. It’s his grip. Would you mind riding in the cart with Martha while I see if I can help Peck?’
After six holes, Peck was playing very well. Harvey came to me and said, ‘Helen, Martha is having a terrible time with her putting stroke. Would you ride with Peck for a while, and I’ll try to help Martha.’
Martha took two putts on the seventh and one-putted the eighth and ninth.
On the tenth tee I said, ‘Harvey, you helped Martha and Peck. Now tell me what I am doing wrong.’
Harvey said, ‘I don’t know. I haven’t been looking.’
So I quit playing with him.
He used to give me a fifteen-minute lesson and then go hide.
But maybe that’s one reason we’ve stayed married so long.”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why husbands shouldn’t teach their wives.
Later in the book Penick writes, “A husband should never try to teach his wife to play golf or drive a car. A wife should never try to teach her husband to play bridge.”
“The most important thing I can say to any young man or woman who is contemplating a life in golf is this,” says Penick. “Marry a good person like I did. Thank you, Helen.”